Category: humor

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Happy Museum Selfie Day

About 2 years ago, I found one of these cheesy sites that lists whatever fake holiday happened to be celebrated that day (e.g., “National Avocado Toast Day”)

I ended up starting every daily standup meeting with a call out to whatever the day was. This went on for about a year before I switched to a different internal team. One that didn’t have much in the way of daily meetings.

A few weeks ago, I made a move back to my original team, only to find that they have kept the tradition alive over the past year!

Amazing.

And with that: Happy Museum Selfie Day!

Created with DALL-E 3

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DALL-E 3: Adding text to your text-to-prompt images

I recently got access to DALL-E 3 through OpenAI’s ChatGPT+ interface. One of the key features and improvements in their image model is the ability to generate coherent text within the image.

Let’s give it a try, based on one of the most popular StackOverflow questions: How do I exit Vim?

Using the following prompt: Oil painting of a hacker furiously typing commands into an old computer and muttering to himself, “how does one exit vim?”

That… is pretty good!

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Laughing donkeys and grumpy elephants: investigating opaque and changing content policies with ChatGPT

OpenAI’s censorship is fairly opaque and seems to change daily.

Yesterday, I could generate a political cartoon using the following prompt:

“Wide image in the style of a political cartoon. Two elephants wearing boxing gloves face each other. One is saying “I’m the worst!” while the other says, “No! I am!”. A donkey is pointing and laughing.”

Today, that exact same prompt yields an error:

Interesting! Let’s do some experimentation, shall we? Maybe it’s the phrase “I’m the worst“?

Weird! Maybe it’s related to elephants and donkeys being in the same phrase? There’s no way, right? Let’s change the subjects…

“Wide image in the style of a political cartoon. Two elephants wearing boxing gloves face each other. One is saying “I’m the worst!” while the other says, “No! I am!”. A donkey is pointing and laughing.”

Hah! Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Let’s push things further and slightly change the subjects from my original prompt:

Wide image in the style of a political cartoon. Two mammoths wearing boxing gloves face each other. One is saying “I’m the worst!” while the other says, “No! I am!”. A burro is pointing and laughing.

Okay, let’s bring it back home and just drop the pretense of creating a political cartoon.

WHAT! Okay. Maybe OpenAI prohibits donkeys and elephants interacting with each other (METAPHOR ALERT: just like in real life, eh?).

Alright. So donkeys and elephants CAN hang out with each other, according to OpenAI. Maybe it’s the phrase “laughing donkey”?

Hmmm. So, laughing donkeys can still hang out with elephants. What the heck? Is it the specific term “political cartoon”? Let’s change it to a comic book instead.

Sweet sassy molassy, it worked! So, creating a political cartoon featuring the mascots of prominent political parties seems to be prohibited (at least today… but not yesterday and who knows about tomorrow).

 

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This dev tools update is going to take awhile

Oops. I guess I accidentally typed in “git status” (no, I didn’t — I do this all the time!)

Now, MacOS needs to redownload all the dev tools again. It looks like it’s going to be awhile.

Fun fact: The time between when Tyrannosaurus Rex existed and now is less than the time between now and when Git will finally be installed on this machine.

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Debugging problems as of late

I’ve been trying to fix a particularly tricky bug lately that only ever manifests itself in our production environments. So, I’m unable to reproduce it on my local machine. It’s been fun. Let me tell you…

I’ve been stuck somewhere between stage 4 and stage 6 for weeks now.

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Retaking the SAT at 35 years old

Drew Magary at Deadspin takes a look at what it’s like to take the SAT again — 18 years after he last did it. Hilarity ensues!

There are many shitty things about being a grownup. You have to make money. You have to do taxes. You have to show up for your bail hearings. It’s all really fucking annoying. But one of the few upsides of being an adult is that you NEVER have to take the SAT again. You never have to worry about it. You don’t have to give a shit what’ll happen if have to pee during the test. You don’t have to look at another analogy ever again. It’s not bad tradeoff for all the other piddling crap you have to deal with. I know I was happy with the arrangement.

[via Deadspin]

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Extrapolating the screen size of Android mobile phones over time.

  This piece was originally posted on gdgt. Check it out, here.

Samsung Galaxy Nexus

Abstract: The latest Android mobile phone under Google’s flagship phone line, the Nexus family, currently has a diagonal screen size of 4.65 inches (118.1mm). This follows a trend that Google started with the HTC Dream / T-Mobile G1 — their first Android flagship phone. Released in 2008, it had a diagonal screen size of only 3.2 inches (81.3mm). Since then, screen sizes in Google’s Nexus line have grown at an average rate of 0.48 inches (12.2mm) per year.

I. Introduction
In 2008, HTC released the first Android phone, the HTC Dream on T-Mobile[1]. Known as the G1, this phone kicked off the Android revolution. At the time, it featured a screen size of only 3.2 inches (81.3mm) — which is rather paltry by today’s standards. Since then, subsequent releases of Android phones by Google and its partners have featured larger and larger screen sizes, culminating with the Samsung Galaxy Nexus[2], announced earlier this week in Hong Kong.

II. Methods
For this experiment, we only used specifications data provided by Google and its partners to determine the screen size. We listed each of Google’s flagship phone ordered by release date. Then we divided the total change is screen size by the total number of years.

From there, we’re able to extrapolate the potential screen size of future Android phones.

III. Results
Here is data from all of Google’s stock Android phones.

  • T-Mobile G1 (2008) – 3.2 inch
  • Nexus One[3] (2010) – 3.7 inch
  • Nexus S[4] (2010) – 4.0 inch
  • Galaxy Nexus (2011) – 4.65 inch

We see that over the course of 3 years, Google’s phones have gained a total of 1.45 inches (36.8mm). This factors out to an average growth rate of 0.48 inches (12.2mm) per year. With this result, we can now predict the screen size of Android devices over time.

  • 2012 – 5.13 inches (130mm)
  • 2013 – 5.61 inches (142.5mm)
  • 2014 – 6.09 inches (154.7mm)
  • 2015 – 6.57 inches (166.9mm)
  • 2020 – 8.97 inches (227.8mm)

IV. Conclusion
Over the last few years, it’s clear to see that the market has spoken with regard to its preferences over the size of mobile devices. Google has recognized consumer’s preference for larger devices and has moved toward a “bigger-is-better” strategy for mobile phones. At the current rate of growth for Android phones, by 2022, they will eclipse the 9.7 inch screen (246.4mm) size of Apple’s tablet, the iPad[5].

V. Footnotes

Seeing this post on Gizmodo earlier today made realize something. Android phones are getting bigger and bigger. So, I decided to write this tongue in cheek “research paper” to highlight the increasing “screen bloat” of Android devices. Bring on the 9.7 inch phones, baby! 2022 can’t come soon enough.

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Drunken shark killer

Speaking of people with large balls, a drunken Serbian man killed a shark by jumping on its head.

“Dragan climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer and simply ran to jump. There was no time for me to react or to try to stop him, he just went for it” says Milovan. “Dragan jumped high and plunged down to the sea, but didn’t make as much splash as we thought he would”, explained Milovan.

The reason could be because Dragan Stevic ended up jumping straight on the shark which was lurking near the beach, probably looking for its next victim. Dragan had nailed it right in the head, killing it instantly. The Egyptian police found the shark washed out on the beach that morning.

Dragan was able to swim to the shore and told his friends he had twisted his ankle, telling them the water was not that soft. The water is soft buddy, you just landed on a shark. At the moment, the fearless hero is in a hospital recovering from alcohol poisoning. After Dragan gets well, he will get a chance to have some more drinks as the resort had awarded the Serb tourist with a free vacation for his heroic deed.

Part of me thinks this is some sort of fake story, but part of me really, really wants it to be true.

[Via Geekologie]

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Get to know a geologist

The annual American Geophysical Union conference is in town this week and I’ve been fielding a bunch of questions about the strange creatures (known as earth scientists) that are inhabiting downtown San Francisco.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but Uncyclopedia nails the description of a geologist.

Geologists are ‘scientists’ with unnatural obsessions with beer and rocks. Often too intelligent to do monotonous sciences like biology, chemistry, or physics, geologists devote their time to mud-worrying, volcano poking, fault finding, bouldering, dust-collecting, and high-risk colouring. One of the main difficulties in communicating with geologists is their belief that a million years is a short amount of time and their heads are harder than rocks. Consequently, such abstract concepts as “Tuesday Morning” and Lunchtime are completely beyond their comprehension.

The section on alcohol consumption is pretty amusing (and somewhat apt) as well.

If you ever encounter a geologist who is sober after 6pm, this person is an imposter: possibly an alien; probably a geophysicist or engineer, marine geographer or hydrologist etc. Alcoholism is an acceptable, even socially beneficial, disease for an active geologist.

The whole article is a fun read though, especially if you are or know any geologists.