AT&T is an insufferable service

After dropping 4 calls today, I decided to try yet again to contact AT&T about their ridiculously lousy cellular service in San Francisco and to try and seek either a rate adjustment or to wave my ETF so that I can go to service that actually works. The following conversation with two different customer service reps was absolutely maddening.

Describe your problem:

Dave Schumaker: I’m seeking a rate adjustment for my AT&T cellular service. Currently, I’m paying an outrageous $100 / month for extremely subpar service. I can very rarely make a call from my apartment and surrounding neighborhood. When I am successful in making a phone call, it usually ends with a dropped connection. As someone who often works from home, this is severely affecting both my professional and personal life.

Please wait for a chat representative to respond.

Welcome to AT&T Technical Support Chat. My name is ‘Christine Alexander’ and I’ll be happy to assist you today.

Christine Alexander: Hello, Mr. Schumaker. I will be more than happy to get you over to our Customer Service chat service.

Dave Schumaker: Great.

Christine Alexander: They will be able to better assist you will your credits.

Christine Alexander: Do you have any other technical issues I may assist you with before I make the transfer?

Dave Schumaker: Nope.

Christine Alexander: Mr. Schumaker, you have a great weekend. It may take 1-3 minutes for the transfer to complete.

Please wait while I transfer you to a representative at AT&T Mobility.

You are now chatting with ‘Raquel Johnson’ at AT&T Mobility.

Raquel Johnson: I will be happy to assist you with this once you have verified the account. Will you please provide the account holder’s first and last name and the last four digits of the social security number or the security passcode if one has been set up previously on your billing account?

Dave Schumaker: David Schumaker, ****

Raquel Johnson: May I please have the mobile number that you are chatting about?

Dave Schumaker: ***-***-****

Raquel Johnson: Thank you for verifying your account. How may I assist you today?

Dave Schumaker: I’m seeking a rate adjustment for my AT&T cellular service. Currently, I’m paying an outrageous $100 / month for extremely subpar service. I can very rarely make a call from my apartment and surrounding neighborhood. When I am successful in making a phone call, it usually ends with a dropped connection. As someone who often works from home, this is severely affecting both my professional and personal life.

Raquel Johnson: I am sorry that you are having a issue with your service. Have you contacted our technical support department about the trouble that you are having with your phone?

Dave Schumaker: They just transferred me to customer service. And it’s not the phone. I’ve had 7 different iPhones (no joke). The problem isn’t necessarily the phone, it’s the lack of sufficient cellular coverage.

Dave Schumaker: I chatted with an AT&T rep 2 weeks ago and they pushed a new SIM update to my phone, because it was “out of date.” However, that didn’t fix the problem either.

Raquel Johnson: I apologize Mr. Schumaker you just spoke to technical support?

Dave Schumaker: Yes. A person named Christine Alexander just transferred me to you after I explained the *exact* same issue. “Christine Alexander: Hello, Mr. Schumaker. I will be more than happy to get you over to our Customer Service chat service.”

Raquel Johnson: I apologize about that Mr. Schumaker, I will have to have you speak with the technical service department to try to help with your phone.

Dave Schumaker: No. Who do I need to chat with to either adjust my rate or to wave my ETF so I can move to a cellular provider that can give me proper service where I live? This is not a tech support issue.

Raquel Johnson: I will have to refer you to our customer care department. The number is 1-800-331-0500 the hours of operation are Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Dave Schumaker: That’s fantastically helpful. If only I could make a phone call.

Dave Schumaker: There’s no one else that I can chat with about this issue?

Raquel Johnson: I apologize Mr. Schumaker, there is not anyone that would be able to credit your account for you.

Dave Schumaker: If I cancel my service, what is my current ETF?

Raquel Johnson: One moment please.

Raquel Johnson: The current amount of the Early termination fee is $120.00.

Dave Schumaker: And is there any way I can have that waived? I don’t believe it’s either fair nor reasonable that I will be forced to pay that, simply because AT&T cannot provide me with sufficient service.

Raquel Johnson: One moment please.

Raquel Johnson: I apologize Mr. Schumaker, AT&T will not waive the early termination fee at this time. The customer service department will be able to further assist you with your account. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Dave Schumaker: Apparently not. Good day.

Good grief! I mean seriously, am I being unreasonable? And $120 for the early termination fee as well? Because, obviously it’s my fault that AT&T cannot provide reliable phone service.