We Have The Strangest Conversations

It’s like we have our own language…

11:22 PM
me: can i ask you a programming question?
Kerry: sure

11:24 PM
me: so i have a stupid function
me: inside, there is a loop to create a long string based on certain (irrelevant) criteria
me: when the function is run by simply calling it in PHP (ie, by simply going: stupidFunction)
me: it outputs the string
me: now i want to save this string somehow, and it doesn’t seem to be working
me: should I simply be able to do something like:
me: $stupidText = stupidFunction(); ?

11:26 PM
Kerry: what’s the return value of the string?
me: there is none, which is weird
me: i try to set one
me: and it screws everything up
Kerry: hmm
Kerry: well if there’s nothing being returned from the function, then simply outputting it won’t give $stupidText any value 

[…]

1:54 PM
me: i finally got stupidFunction to work last night!
me: it turns out that stupidFunction was creating a stupidArray inside of it
me: so basically $stupidText printed “Array” when I set it equal to stupidFunction
me: Once I did: $stupidText = stupidFunction[‘idiotDave’]; it all worked!
Kerry: woooo, nice work